Saturday, February 23

All You Can Eat, All You Can Tolerate Buffets

Yo, wsup peeps. Its Jon Loki once again... and guess what? I'm pissed off again! for ril yo. This time i gotta shout out some people at all-you-can-eat buffets. dont get me wrong there are big and small buffets that are clean and normal. Those are probably the expensive ones. But some crazy shii happens at ritzy places too! You see some craziness in most of the everyday buffets that are poppin up all over the place. theres some shii that i see in buffets that bugs me or disgusts me. I know you gonna feel this...
First one is the Mismatch People, mismatching serving spoons. Dont you sometimes see a swirl of red french dressing in a half-full ranch dressing container? you know some dumb ass dipped the wrong spoon into it. french-ranch dressing? fk daat. they do the same thing with the spoon for teriyaki beef and use it to scoop egg rolls. Since the Mismatch people use differnet serving utensils, they are most likely the same as the Reach Over People who squeeze and reach over your serving hand to get to a particular piece of food! Plus their spoon with brown sauce is dripping all over the baked fish youre about to try!. daaaamn, yo, relax, this place aint closing for another 4 hours!
You really see some rude and dirty shii when people are hungry. Dont you? I know theres no lines at the buffet table, but somebodys gotta stop No-Line People from crowding and reaching in between people like its the last chicken wing theyre gonna make. the No-Line People are also the ones that turnaround and serve food to their friend waiting behind them.
Theres those impatient No-Line People but I gotta also hate on the Cracker Jack People. Yo after 30 seconds, stop diggin through the crablegs or mussels, pleeease! Like there some jumbo sized piece waiting just for you?! shiii, this isnt a crackerjacks box with a prize! Some people stand there moving around every single crab leg! Then at some buffets, if crab legs is the popular tray, people hover and wait until the next tray gets served. Oh man, if theres more than 5 people waiting, you see some shii happen. Now if the first guy on line with the tongs, is one of those Cracker Jack People, that take their sweet ass time, then youll see the different types of people come out. The Mismatch People got the salad tongs already. The Reach Over People crossing over trays. The No-Line People are hip checkin for space. Then when i finally get to the crableg tray, im left with all the thin ass pencil legs that got no meat! and im not one of those Hover People who will stand there and wait for a tray to come out! WSUP WIT DAAT ?!!!!!! crazy shii, yo.
Then, there are Community People. the ones that gotta bring back food for everybody at their table! why do you need to that forthe other lazy people you are with? damn yo. ive seen somebody take all 10 grilled steaks back on two plates. I had to wait another 20 minutes for the new batch. Now, you see why some people hover over a favorite tray to be served?
Does everybody know that they can, and supposed to use new plates. first, i dont know how the Pile Up People can stack food up that high on one plate! you must like having oyster water mixed in with your chicken wings. Dont you think it would be wise to use one plate for entrees with sauce, then the next plate for the dry dishes? I know it all goes to the same place but, daaaamn!? Is it your last meal ever, dawg?
Shiii, and the last thing, the frkn half-ass waiters that serve in this place better be happy with a 10% tip if that. these waiters dont do shii but refill drinks or take away plates anyway, if at all! none of them try to talk to you for any great customer service anyway. They still come back and ask who get what drink. wheres the skill in that? so you know they'd fk up dinner orders if this was a regular restaurant. Still, some punks think they deserve the 20% tip because they are doing more for a 10 head table. Pleez, if you want real tips, work at a real restaurant, ok?!
Yup, theres other crazy shii that happens at the all you can eat buffet. Everybody got stories in there, just like a bar! dont you? but yeah, my patience and appetite gets tested when i go. Patience to deal with all the crude and rude behavior. Appetite to maintain through all the dirty and disgusting! get at me, if you feel me? shiii, i didnt even mention the crazy kids and their parents in there! peace...

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